Mr. Elusive #27

I went on another date tonight. Well, I went on one last night too but that was a repeat so we will talk about that in a few minutes. Tonight’s date was another online find. His profile is kind of weird but he sent me a flirt so I decided to respond. This time around I am really trying to be open minded about anyone that may have any kind of possibility. This does not include the creepers or men over 40 though. Some I think might have potential in person however…and I try to give them a shot. 

Mr. Elusive was from Orem. We decided to meet for dinner at a place he likes in Provo. So, I made the drive down just to find out that the place had just closed for the next week. It also turned out that for some reason he thought that I was from Provo. He felt bad I had driven so far (since I live in the Salt Lake City area). I followed him to Noodles and Company instead and there we ate. We sat outside where it was nice and live music was playing. The whole time it was just kind of awkward. I really didn’t know what to say and just felt like there was something off about him. Maybe it was the fact that a few times he made comments and I’m pretty sure he was Andy Bernard (The Office) and not my online find. It was uncanny really. Anyway, don’t get me wrong, he was really nice and probably a very good guy. That’s not what I mean. I just wasn’t feeling any sort of connection there. He did however look better than I thought he would. He wasn’t too bad actually. Still, I just wasn’t on the same page. 

After dinner we went two doors down to the Red Mango. Remember my frozen yogurt establishment adjudication a few years ago? Well, that was on the list and I haven’t been back since. In fact, Spoon Me is no longer in Utah so I haven’t had any frozen yogurt in quite some time. I remembered liking it before though so I was excited to go back. Unfortunately however, I was pretty full. I got the smallest size and did my best to finish it off. The problem was that all that food began to make me feel a little sick inside. I quickly became way too full and quite sick really. There wasn’t anyone sitting close to us and at one point I may have let a little gas slip out and oh man….it was BAD. Pretty stinky! Haha. Why write this on the internet? Well, we are all here for a little entertainment right? Yeah, it was gross. I really needed to go to the bathroom but I didn’t want to right after that cause then, if there was any chance he may have thought the smell came from elsewhere, he would know for sure it was me! Soon, I had to just go though. Things were a little more pleasant after that. 

We didn’t stay too long which I was grateful for. He walked me to my car, talked some more, gave me a hug and sent me on my way. I think he enjoyed himself. He seemed to be kind of into me anyway. I just wasn’t feeling it back. That’s fine though. I need to narrow my list down because right now, I am talking to WAY too many guys! It’s not really my thing. 

On that note, I went out with Mr. Active again last night. We just went for a walk down by the Jordan River. It was quite nice! We walked about 6 miles total, just talking the whole way. At one point we had to climb on a wall to avoid a flooded section but he nicely helped me up there like a gentleman. Afterwards we went back to his house to drink some water. Then we stood there awhile and talked and then I left. When I first arrived he seemed excited to see me. He gave me a hug and said it had been forever. Cute…it’d been a week. Then when I left he walked me to my car and gave me a hug and said it was fun seeing me again. Later I texted him to thank him again and stuff and he said that he had fun and that I was easy to talk to. I think those are good signs but I’m not really about to read into anything anymore so, despite the fact that we have been talking almost every day since we met and that the day after our last hike he added me on the old facebook, I am just trying to date every possible guy in the freakin universe until one asks me to marry them.

# 26 Mr. Active

Another day, another date. Are you keeping up? I hardly am. So, yesterday I met yet another online potential. This new site seems to be producing in abundance. Anyway, let me tell you a little bit about this one. We exchanged a few emails online and then he asked for my number. We texted several times and then he asked if he could call me. He did call me, when I was getting ready for date #25 the other night. We had been texting quite a bit so I was a little nervous. Why? Well, because we were all fun and flirty and sarcastic and I didn’t want him to be super weird in real life. The conversation went really well though. We talked for a long time and then I had to go on my other date.

After our conversation he texted me and said, “It was fun to talk to you.” I agreed. It was fun. His sarcasm almost matches my own…which is delightful. The next day I had a concert in the tabernacle. He decided he wanted to come and see it. I didn’t invite him or anything but I was kind of excited that he wanted to. He told me in a text that morning that he was breaking a rule with me. I was kind of surprised and asked what it was. He told me not to laugh and then revealed that he usually doesn’t talk to girls this much before he meets them. I completely understood why because I am the same way! I like to meet people because they are so often weird in person. Just like my friend and I decided…some people you just like better cyber. I told him about that and he laughed. :) He told me I better not disappoint and I gave him the same warning back.

After my concert I called him to find out where he was. I saw him first and was pleasantly surprised and relieved at the same time!  He was good looking! We had a fun conversation and it wasn’t too awkward. He also seemed really pleased with the concert. He liked it! Yay!! I sing in a women’s choir and afterward the men’s choir performed. I have a friend in it so I was staying for that. He knew this so when they were starting I said goodbye to him. He gave me a hug and took off. He soon texted and said it was nice to meet me. I replied the same back to him and we texted back and forth the rest of the night. 

So, finally we get to the big date yesterday. We had decided to go on a hike. How refreshing to do something different!!! I was way excited. We went up Mill B North in Big Cottonwood. We talked easily and I kept up with him really well. By the way, he is pretty darn in shape. My sister saw him the other night and thought I should name him Mr. Buff but I didn’t. Anyway, we hiked up a ways to this Salt Lake overlook. We sat and talked there awhile and then he asked if I wanted to hike some more…and I did. So, we climbed quite a bit further until we ran into some tricky snow where he pulled a muscle, causing us to have to turn around and head back down. All in all, we hiked about 5.5 miles and climbed over 2,000 feet! It was great! So nice to do that for a date, really. Well, except that I was all sweaty. We talked easily and just enjoyed nature and each other’s company. 

We were together for about 4.5 hours and we both had stuff going on after so we said goodbye back at me car. He gave me a hug and I left. Soon after, he texted and said, “That was fun.” I agreed and thanked him for taking me. He said, “Let’s do it again.” I told him I’d love to. So my friends, we have a new potential! He is nice, funny, a couple years older than me, has a job, and is doing things with his life. He is also divorced and has two children. I really don’t know what will happen but it’s nice to be thinking about other guys for now…

Little Man #25

This is a little bitty post about a little bitty man. Okay, he wasn’t that small but I hate that pictures online can be so deceiving. Plus, I’m pretty sure that this little man that I met in my cyber world claimed a few inches taller than he really was. It wasn’t just that though…he was slightly taller than me…just somewhat feminine in nature, or something. My point: I’m gonna cut to the chase and just tell you, I liked him better cyber. Here’s our story….

We’ve emailed a few times online and then he asked for my number. It took him a few days but he finally called. When he did, I wasn’t impressed. I was actually pretty bored during the whole conversation. He asked me out though so I accepted….especially since it involved ice cream. I figured maybe in person things would be different. It’s always nice to give someone a chance anyway. We chose a place between us to meet and there we went for ice cream. When I saw him, I was immediately un-attracted to him and wished that he was someone else. I know this is horrible of me….but sometimes I’m on dates and I wonder what others around me are thinking and I get a little bit embarrassed. I was kind of embarrassed to be with him. How shallow of me right? Shallow but true…

Well, we sat down and ran out of conversation after about 5 minutes. It was kind of awkward. I also wasn’t really feeling the ice cream sadly! He just wanted “something small” but it ended up being as big as mine so I was secretly glad. I barely touched mine then asked for a box. He quickly finished and we didn’t mess around wasting time. He asked if I was ready to go so that my ice cream wouldn’t melt. I immediately replied in the affirmative. He paid, we walked out, and since our cars were in different directions, we parted ways without so much as a hug. I think we were both relieved to be on our way. Shortest date of my life. I think it lasted about a half an hour. And yet it was the longest half hour of my life. Sometimes, you are just not meant for each other and you both know it. We are very different people. And so…on to the next one. I’m on a roll…

Welcome to my Cyber World

Remember when I first reluctantly decided to try out the online dating scene? I was skeptical to say the least, it’s true. And well, I had good reason to be. That site was free and everyone on it thought that lovin was free too. That or they were seriously weird. I didn’t stay long. After trying so hard the last couple of years and searching high and low not only in the Salt Lake Valley where I live, but across the entire country, I have still come up dry on the husband search. So, last year of course I decided to try once again the only other thing I could think of….the internet. This time around I knew that payment was necessary in order to find the men that were serious. 

I plunged into the most expensive site I could find last fall. I did it on a whim. I answered a million questions about myself and my interests so that they could properly match me up with my Mr. Right. It wasn’t long before I realized that I could answer all the questions in the world and they still wouldn’t know me well enough to find me the right guy. A few months down the road however, I found Mr. Manly and I was pretty excited. He seemed like a good match to me so it restored my faith in the system. Obviously however, it didn’t last. I talked to him last night for about an hour and it just wasn’t there. I could tell that he is so done. You and I both already knew that though right? But, I learned lessons from my experiences with him and I know that for that short time, I was supposed to be with him and have the experiences we had. Now however, it is time to move on.

So, the other site just hasn’t been cutting it for me anymore. I have to wait for them to match me up and I honestly haven’t been all that thrilled with my matches. My friends have had better luck on another site which I again decided to join on a whim. Ever since I joined a couple of weeks ago, I feel like my life has been consumed with men! They are coming out of the wood work left and right. The nice part: they are for the most part actually contacting me. I like that. I also like that several times a day I am told that I am beautiful, cute, attractive, pretty, etc. I know they can’t see me in person but their flattery works wonders for the ego that was recently crushed to pieces by a manly man who didn’t want any part of this anymore. 

Well, despite the good comments and the fact that I am talking to and meeting several men, there are still some real interesting men out there in the cyber world. These are men that should never be allowed near women and have obviously been living in social Siberia their entire lives. Despite their lack of common sense when it comes to communication, they keep things interesting and well…entertaining, so long as they are not the ONLY guys trying to make a move. I’ve received some real treasures from these such men and I thought you might once again like to share in my humor and confusion at receiving such messages. 

First let’s look at the guy who has a handle bar mustache with a scarf on his head. He stalks me frequently. His best message to me so far went like this:

“Hi there!

I am: Ivan (name changed)

I am: Sovereign, LDS!

I like your profile, and you are VERY pretty! Your eyes totally own me! :-)

I would love to get to know you.

I was wondering,

What gives you the most fulfillment in life?

Do you work out?

What are You looking for in a man?

What are your Hopes and Dreams?

Please feel free to ask me anything!

I hope to hear from You soon!

Love, Ivan :-)

:-)”

Wow…so there’s that. I didn’t respond. He later sent me a poem called, “Friendship.” It was fantastic. Ahh…good times. Well, then there was this older gentleman from Mexico, which is kind of far away. I won’t share the whole message because he honestly wrote me a book but maybe just a little? Here’s what he had to say:

“Hi, my name is Jorge and let me tell you more about me! Well what I can said, Im a dreamer and I still believe in real love, love like the one we see all the time in movies!! One of my favorite movies is the notebook, Im looking for love that kind!! And I know that kind of love exist! I have that example with my parents, they still love each other even after more than 45 years of marriage!! And because of them I learned marriage is not easy, but is a combination of so many things, of course Love is one of the most important parts of the puzzle, but there are so many other things like, trust, honesty, loyalty, patience, good coummunication and something really important, daily work!

…. I am really interested in you and I want to know more about you and get to know you better, so if you are interested in get to know me more, please, write me a line and we can move it from there!”

Yep, another winner. How about just one more? This guy was kind of a piece of work. I’m not sure how to describe him but he looks a little redneck to be honest. He’s from Michigan….this is important to know. He first sent me a “flirt” that said, “I like your profile. Feel free to send me a message.” Right after, he sent a real email, the subject of which was Gang Member #2 and in it he said:

“I know there is a lot of gangs in Salt Lake so I’m sorry if I offended you in any way by sending the flirt. I am very sorry. LOL Country line dance. WHAT? I wouldn’t brag about that. Just a joke homegirl. No need to call your peeps out to bust my legs. I think you are very beautiful and I would like to get to know you better. Take care. Your homeboy Sam.”

Wow!!! Really? Insult me and then tell me I’m beautiful? I’m flattered! Well, good times on the old internet. My friend and I have a new line for guys. We just tell them, “I like you better cyber.” Just kidding, not really but most guys are better before they open their mouths the first time. Still…I’m putting one foot in front of the other and dating to forget, and dating until I feel like dating. Meanwhile, I get to keep sorting through these winners! Wish me luck! I have another date tonight and one on Saturday…so far. ;)

Mr. Excited # 24

You know how guys get freaked out sometimes at overly anxious girls? I totally get that now. Why? Well, because it seems that I have run into the same problem, only opposite, quite frequently lately. I feel that desperate vibe and it FREAKS me out! So anyway, I went on a date last night. Yesterday I was online and he started chatting with me. He was quite complimentary of my smile. One of my pictures really made his day I guess. I thanked him for the compliment because I am trying to be as open minded as possible in this process…without crossing the line to the creepers side. 

Anyway, we chatted awhile and then he got my number and quickly texted.  The more we talked, the more excited he was about this little connection…and he let me know. He asked me out and we made a plan for the next day. He kept texting me throughout the night and to be honest, I was feeling only so-so about him in the first place. He wasn’t bad looking, I just felt like maybe we were different. You never know about people until you meet them though. So, I was fully willing to give him a chance. We live near each other but I was determined to do things right this time around so we set a public place to meet up.

Last night was the big night. He was excited and let me know. I was excited for the Thai food I was about to devour. And I was a little curious. I got there and he met me at the door with a hand shake and a hug. Not bad looking in person either. He’s in the military so he’s pretty in shape! His cologne however, kind of overpowered everything and I wasn’t its biggest fan. As we sat talking about the menu, I just felt kind of detached. I tried to be there and I did stay there…but I just wasn’t feeling it. I felt like just the way we communicate and who we are is just different. He seemed super nice and I can tell he is a really good guy. At least I knew he wasn’t just after some lip right? There is just something different about our general style…does that make sense. 

I was really hungry and after awhile was getting antsy for me food, not only to eat, but also to have something else to do besides talk to him. I was worried however that my food might be ruined by his smell. When it finally arrived like manna from heaven, I was relieved and happy to note that either my nostrils had acclimatized, or the food mostly drowned out his scent. It wasn’t my favorite Thai food every but it sufficed. I ate until I could eat no more and then we sat and chatted a little longer. Thankfully he wasn’t one to linger forever so we eventually made our way out to the parking lot. He drove me the two rows from his car to mine. I think he just wanted to show off his sweet ride because it took a lot of convincing to get him to just meet me there and not come pick me up. Anyway, it was a nice car. He dropped me off and then made me wait in the car while he came around to open my door. Awkward! I mean, I LOVE a good gentleman but the waiting from the inside of the car has always baffled me a little. Anyway, he gave me a super good squeeze with sound effects and all (and by the way…he really was in GOOD shape!) and then we said goodbye. As I was getting into the car he kept saying things like, “call if you want to hang out again.” I probably won’t be if he calls me….maybe I will give it another shot? I dunno…

Mr. Smooth # 23

The last couple of weeks have found me consumed with a new online dating site. I’ve had quite a few responses from the men. Actually, I generally don’t contact them first so it’s more accurate to say that I have been contacted by many of the men. Some of them aren’t so bad either. Others? Well, we will get to them! Just like life, you get all kinds on the internet. 

One day last week I was informed that I was someone’s favorite. I get this quite a bit but I always check to see if it’s someone decent. Well, this particular man was HOT! I was seriously surprised I made his list but feeling suddenly optimistic, I decided to go ahead and write him a short note. He seemed to like it because he responded and even laughed a little. Always a good sign. His response was short however and I gave him a little bit of a hard time about his “detailed” response. He said that we should meet up and talk and then he would give me more detail. He added his number so I thought, why not? I texted him with mine and when he responded I let him know I’d be down for a meet up, to just let me know when. He said, “how about 9:30 tonight?” Hmm…I thought it through for a few minutes and decided to just go ahead and go for it. I wanted to feel like I was really out there dating again and moving on from Mr. Manly. 

After texting Mr. Smooth a few times, I was slightly put out that he wanted to meet up at his place but I decided to go for it anyway….even though it was against the rules. I thought I’d just be careful. So, I went and texted him when I got there but he was still on the freeway. He had just dropped off his kids back at their mom’s house far away I guess. I forgave him a little then for making me come to him since he had already been out doing a lot of driving. We went up to his place and since he was still in his work clothes, he changed while I watched t.v. Well, he turned the t.v on for me anyway and I was flipping channels. I got stuck on one that revealed on the menu strip at the bottom that it was a really inappropriate show. I freaked out and tried to change the channel but it wouldn’t change!!!!! I was praying he did not come out!! Finally, I got it off of that and right after, he stuck his head out and asked if I was getting it figured out. Whew!

When he finally got all changed we decided to watch a movie. It took awhile to find one but thankfully I didn’t actually hate his movie collection. It was decent and he was respectful of the fact that I didn’t watch rated R’s. We chose this Chris Farley film I had never seen before. It was goofy but kinda fun. So, right away he cuddled up to me and I thought…who needs Mr. Manly anyway?? 

As the movie progressed so did Mr. Handsy…I mean Mr. Smooth. He was good. I mean, smooth at putting on the moves. By the way, in person he was super HOT too. I was worried he wasn’t going to like me. No matter. Soon we were makin out so I wasn’t too worried about that. I know….horrible! But I was glad to forget about the other someone for a few minutes and to pretend like someone wanted to kiss me. It was fun but the whole time I knew that this was going to go nowhere because that is no way to start a relationship and well, I’m pretty sure that was all he wanted from me. And I was okay with that. Kind of. 

I left when I needed to. I mean, I was a little nervous cause the man had successfully made 4 babies in the past so I know where he’s been ya know? But I was careful and yeah….I eventually went home. I do not expect to hear from him again. I haven’t so far and that was a few days ago. Too bad cause he was actually pretty nice other than that and well, really, really good looking! But that’s not the kind of guy I want or the kind of girl I want to be. I thought I would feel a little more validated since the last couple of guys I dated never wanted to kiss me. It was nice to be kissed but I don’t feel any better about myself. Worse really so yeah, I hate where I am at right now.

It's a Numbers Game

Back when I started this project forever ago, the person who inspired me to do it shared a similar experience she had. She related that when she turned 31 and could no longer attend her church meetings with the younger singles, her bishop counseled her to date 40 men because marriage was about numbers. She was hesitant but eventually made a list and did everything in her power to accomplish such a daunting task. I thought that maybe I could do the same thing….and blog about it. Well, I have learned a great deal about myself and dating in the process. I’m glad for that! Still, the journey has been somewhat long and laborious, while really exciting at times as well. 

I’m currently finding myself back at square one and wondering once again where to turn this time. Mr. Manly just doesn’t seem interested in me and I know in reality that it’s over. It was fun while it lasted. Really fun! It was so nice to have someone to be excited about, to have a man be affectionate toward me and to hold my hand, give me the best hugs ever, and to cuddle with. I enjoyed our conversations and the hope I felt in my future. Now, I am once again left heartbroken and lonely. This cycle is all part of the process though and I know that. I know that I have overcome heartbreak before and so I can do it again! I thought that maybe I’d share how exactly I am coping with yet another disappointment in the dating game of life.

First and foremost, God is central to my life. The thing that gives me the greatest peace and comfort in my life is accepting that He has a plan for me. Over the last several months I have really tried to turn my life over to Him completely. Doing so allows me to trust that He knows what is best for me and wants what will bring me the greatest happiness and joy in life. When I fully declare my trust in Him and this plan for me, I feel great peace and relief!! I can’t describe it to you but I just know that I have nothing to fear, that everything is going to be okay. There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon that I love. I believe it is in Mosiah 23:28. The people of Alma had seen great hardship and once they were settled and starting to freely live the gospel, they saw their enemies upon them and they were afraid. Yet they were reminded in whom they trusted and it says, “they hushed their fears and began to cry unto the Lord.” I tell myself constantly to hush my fears. In the end, everything is going to work out. That doesn’t mean it isn’t hard right now cause it pretty much sucks. I have HOPE though!

This brings me to my second coping strategy. Because I trust in the Lord, I do everything possible to stay near to Him and to have His calming spirit with me. I do this because I know that I am surrounded by the adversary and his angels who yell in my ear that I am not good enough…that there is no hope, etc. I have to beat them and I have to drown out their demeaning words. The only way to do that is to stay near to God. I do that by reading the scriptures more faithfully and by studying every other piece of church material I can get my hands on. And then I go to the temple regularly. I go as much as I can because it is a safe house for me. I know that in there I can only feel the right spirit and it feels good.

So…those are my number one coping strategies! Next, I stay active and I plan. I love hiking and now is the right time of year to do it! This keeps me moving which is great because I feel good about myself, and it allows me to enjoy nature which is the love of my life! It also feels like a safe place for me which is needed. Besides, who doesn’t love the accomplishment of conquering a mountain?! It’s great! Keeping busy is important for me so aside from hiking as much as possible, I plan other activities. I focus on what might be important in my life like what I can accomplish, how I can improve in my job, and how I can better serve those around me. Then I also plan as much fun as possible! I am actually going to Europe this summer!! I am occupied right now with plans for this one month trip to a far away land! It’s important to have things to look forward to…besides marriage and babies. :)

 

Finally, I do everything in my power to control what I can control and let the rest go. I’m still doing my part. In fact, I joined another dating site. It’s proving fairly fruitful so far. I have a couple of guys that want to meet me and several more who are talking to me. My heart isn’t fully in it but I figure, the more I do it, the more likely it will be to catch up with me at some point, right? I also feel like I can control things like my appearance and physical fitness so I am reevaluating how to better get in shape and what I can do for a change….like get a haircut! :) I’ve found that change can be good in moving forward as well. So, there you have it. This is my life right now and soon, I won’t feel quite so bad that I was rejected yet again, right?

Ps…you should go to youtube and look up, “Mindy Gledhill Small Enough.” It’s one of my favs!